Time flys
It's been awhile since I posted anything. So thought i would see if I could think of something interesting to say this morning!
This topic is something I can't say I have personal knowledge on, i'm sortta on the outside looking in on this one.As you know I only have 1 child "Lisa" so if your reading this and have multiple children please give me some feedback!
O.K. here is my thought... Do parents with more then 1 child show favortism toward 1 over the others? I'm not saying they love one more or the others less just if 1 may have a little more space in their heart then the others? only having one child I dont know if i would have favored one over another. Growing up with 2 sisters me being the baby my sisters say mom and dad favored me but i'm not sure that holds true...as a baby i had alot of health problems my first year of life they had to take me to have radiation treatments and i had a really rough time with my skin had to have cold towels wrapped around my arms at night so i wouldnt scratch and make them bleed,so my parents had to take turns sleeping with me till that passed. So my thought is that is why they seemed to favor me when in truth I just needed more of their time where my 2 sisters were always healthy. then in adulthood I think it makes a difference how much you are in contact with your parents when you leave home,that while they love each child/adult the ones that are there when dad is hospitalized or mom has to have a test,or just to give alittle time to them maybe the one they talk more about or think more about but that isn't favortism thats just natural i think.
Now I want to move on to when their all still basically little and you have them close in age, How does it effect a child when he or she grows up if mom and dad both seem focused on 1 child and all there whims and wishes are given while the others may have the same wishes but they just arent as vocal or are told "later" will that effect how they are when their adults toward their parents? As a grandparent of 5 beautiful kids I try to be equal in everything i do but i do realize they all have such different personalities that you interact differntly with each one,I just pray that when they are grown and look back ,they will each one remember me as loving them all the same and maybe each one will have their own little memory that is theirs alone that we made together.O.K. I am looking forward to someone elses thought on this! Hmmm I might be talking to the wall again!!hope atleast 1 person is looking at my blog and will reply..
This topic is something I can't say I have personal knowledge on, i'm sortta on the outside looking in on this one.As you know I only have 1 child "Lisa" so if your reading this and have multiple children please give me some feedback!
O.K. here is my thought... Do parents with more then 1 child show favortism toward 1 over the others? I'm not saying they love one more or the others less just if 1 may have a little more space in their heart then the others? only having one child I dont know if i would have favored one over another. Growing up with 2 sisters me being the baby my sisters say mom and dad favored me but i'm not sure that holds true...as a baby i had alot of health problems my first year of life they had to take me to have radiation treatments and i had a really rough time with my skin had to have cold towels wrapped around my arms at night so i wouldnt scratch and make them bleed,so my parents had to take turns sleeping with me till that passed. So my thought is that is why they seemed to favor me when in truth I just needed more of their time where my 2 sisters were always healthy. then in adulthood I think it makes a difference how much you are in contact with your parents when you leave home,that while they love each child/adult the ones that are there when dad is hospitalized or mom has to have a test,or just to give alittle time to them maybe the one they talk more about or think more about but that isn't favortism thats just natural i think.
Now I want to move on to when their all still basically little and you have them close in age, How does it effect a child when he or she grows up if mom and dad both seem focused on 1 child and all there whims and wishes are given while the others may have the same wishes but they just arent as vocal or are told "later" will that effect how they are when their adults toward their parents? As a grandparent of 5 beautiful kids I try to be equal in everything i do but i do realize they all have such different personalities that you interact differntly with each one,I just pray that when they are grown and look back ,they will each one remember me as loving them all the same and maybe each one will have their own little memory that is theirs alone that we made together.O.K. I am looking forward to someone elses thought on this! Hmmm I might be talking to the wall again!!hope atleast 1 person is looking at my blog and will reply..
posted by judy @ Tuesday, June 01, 2010
1 Comments:
At June 11, 2010 at 4:58 PM ,
Karen said...
Hello Aunt Judy,
You certainly know my circumstances, 3 children, 10 grandchildren. I can honestly say that each one of mine has had more of my attention at given points than the others have had. Love--a place in my heart--I would personally tell anyone that I don't love one of mine over the other. I do however like more things about one than I do the other. Some of the things I don't like seeing in my children or grandchildren, I don't like seeing in anyone. My pet peeves, selfishness, laziness, just to name a few. Byron said something to me a couple of months ago, Mama, you don't keep Madison like you do the others. My response, Bryon, I'm proud of you, you do what you are supposed to with her and Kristina takes good care of her. I am glad that for once, I can be a grandmother and not have to feel as if I have to continually watch out for her. That's the way it is supposed to be. All my children are doing much better with their own. I am not a parent or grandparent that keeps my mouth shut. I am the defender of the little ones.
I wasn't aware of the affects on Byron or Katie when they were younger of Audra consuming so much of my time. I can tell you that they have issues over it. Some stored resentments. I wish I could do it over, I would have been a completely different parent to all of my children. Audra was a very Very difficult child. In hindsight, I would have her medicated lol. No really, some of the characteristics that Audra had, I see evident in her son Nicholas. He has been diagnosed with a form of autism. They don't pin it on one diagnosis, but just say that it is a form of autism and mild. I have researched it and his symptoms fit Aspergers or Random X syndrome. I was also the first to say that it was autism. Bobby and Audra had a fit. Nicholas does very well on medication. I still try to get Audra to talk to the dr.s for some help for her.
But back more on the direct subject. I could start to say that I am more drawn personality wise to one over the other, but I struggle with that coming out of my mouth. Why? I'm not sure. If I were to come to the conclusion that it is because I actually loved one more than the other, I would make myself do something about it. I am my worst critic. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for any one of them. I'm not just tough on me, I'm tough on my kids. Yeah, still as adults I am. I am growing up and learning where I need to draw the line. And I try to stay out of their relationships. I am closer to Katie than the other two. Audra will only let someone in for a while and then pulls back, Byron has made it clear that he doesn't want to be around family every day. He doesn't want to talk to family every day. So I respect what I heard thru the grapevine and he hardly ever sees me or hears from me. He has expressed feelings about me not being there much, and I told him like it was, that's the way you wanted it. I answer the phone every time no matter which kid it is calling. I try to rotate their children in my spare time. When I pray, I pray for all three and their mates and children.
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